As I wrote this, I am in the throes of fear and regret. My heart is aching.

I’m a mom of several cockatiels; 11 to be exact. Though I take very good care of them, I realized a few days ago that their cage is too small and that is unfair to them. Today I reached our to my cousin, best friend and neighbor, Bobby, asking her to please take 4 of my beloved birds. She has a huge room for her cockatiels and because I love my birds so dearly, I felt it best to re-home them so they have more room. She gladly accepted and came to get them.

I also asked her to bring an antibiotic shot for Maggie. You see, Bobby is a vet tech. Maggie has issues with her eyes and since other things had failed, I thought the shot would finally clear up her eyes.

Bobby gave Maggie a mini dose od antibiotic, and left with the 4 birds I gave her. In the process of rearranging my cage, Maggie flipped over and had a seizure. I grabbed her out of the cage and held her close while my daughter ran to get Bobby. Within a minute or so she was back and examining Maggie.

She found that Maggie has an egg and that is either egg bound, or has had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics. With not a lot that can be done, she went back home and left me to care for Maggie and just wait it out.

I’ve wrapped Maggie in a warm towel. Her legs are laying flat under her and she is fighting to stay awake. I’ve done several things to help pass the egg and nothing has helped yet. She tries to push occasionally but for the most part isn’t moving. Because she is bonded to Willy, he is sitting with her. Most cockatiel folks recommend you do this if the end is near so the mate can grieve. Willy has preened her feathers and now sits like a sentinel beside her.

I do not know if my Maggie will beat this or not. If she doesn’t, there is the risk of Willy following in her passing as he is old and her mate.

My heart is breaking. I want to cry but I don’t want these precious little birds to sense my feelings.

I feel so much guilt now. Had I not had her given an antibiotic shot, would she still be ok? Was that even it? Did the stress alone from the shot cause this? Had I left well enough alone would she be ok? Did the changes cause her to need to lay her egg too early? Is this all my fault? Or was it going to happen any way? So many unanswered questions I’ll never have answers to.

Please pray for little Maggie and Willy. No matter what your religion or belief. No matter how you pray. And pray for me to have the strength to get through whatever happens.

I leave you with this pic of them together. I hope it isn’t the last.